I recently had the opportunity to speak with Shalu Yadav, a 35-year-old transgender woman from Raipur, Chhattisgarh. I was equally heartbroken and inspired by her story about her journey navigating school, jobs, abuse, and more. Please see the transcript below, translated from Hindi audio into English text. I hope you are as struck by our conversation as I am.
My name is Shalu Yadav and I’m 35 years old. I was born and raised in Raipur in Chhattisgarh. I realized I was trans when I was 13 years old but because of my relatives, society, and the place I lived, I could not be open about it. Some of the thinking in society has changed since then but we still have a long way to go.
My family accepted and supported me when they realized I was different since I enjoyed playing with girls, living like girls, and doing everything like girls. But, because of other people and the overall society, I was restricted in everything.
I am lucky that my family supported me. My father especially supported me. He used to drop me off at school at 7:30 in the morning. But he used to come to check on me again at 9:30 am daily. He would ask me if I was okay and whether I had eaten. He would come to buy me snacks like chocolate or “chaat” daily. He used to ask me to stay with my older sister and commute with her.
Whatever happened to me is real. There is nothing extra in this story. When I used to go to school, I used to get scared. I had to sit separately from other students because of my gender. I was a laughingstock at school because of the way I spoke. I could not continue my education at school because I received no support from teachers. So, eventually, I had to drop out of school and continue my education at home.
After a point, society would start distancing itself from trans people, and they would have to go join other trans people to beg for alms. Before, my family supported me and didn’t ever ask me to leave home. However, unfortunately, my parents died within a very short span of time. In 2004, my mother died of a heart attack and just a bit later, my father died in an accident. After that, I struggled a lot within the community. It was difficult to find a job and I was forced to leave home. There were a lot of challenges in life. Getting a job was becoming so difficult that I had to beg for alms and dance in wedding celebrations to get money. I was depressed and contemplated suicide. Another important issue is that when transgender people go to a hospital or a government facility for treatment, we face a lot of problems. Doctors often misbehave and create problems with your gender.
There were a lot of problems in my life. I worked in the private sector and was in the spare parts department of a two-wheeler showroom. The women there supported me, but one night, the men harassed me and tore my clothes off. I had to run away. So, I had to quit. When the manager asked me why I was quitting, I wasn’t able to explain and burst into tears. She guessed what the situation was, and said she would address the issue. But, I just couldn’t do it anymore. So she moved me to the sales floor. There too, I faced a lot of problems. The staff harassed me a lot and commented about my gender so I had to quit again.
Then, I joined an NGO and worked there for 2-3 years. But, since it didn’t have funding, we didn’t get paid and I had to quit. Then, I applied for a job at Lok Aayog Jain Sansanalay. During the interview, they decided to give me a temporary job as a cook. I worked long days there starting at 7 am and finally leaving work at 9 pm. There was no day off, so I used to work nonstop 365 days a year. But, then I was not made a permanent staff member since the job was for people of a specific gender. They would not make any changes to that rule due to societal pressures. So, I was out of a job again.
Since the Supreme Court passed a law in 2014 and rules were implemented, there have been some changes. In 2020-21, during the second wave of the COVID pandemic, Garima Greh opened and it provides shelter for transgender people. We got a lot of support. I’ve been living at Garima Greh for 9 months and even got a cooking job. I’m now preparing for a police job and I hope my efforts pay off. I have received incredible support from transgender activist Vidya Rajput amongst others so I also am now committed to doing something for the new generation of transgender people.